Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.
Hebrews 11:1 New Living Translation
Grief isn’t linear it’s a spiral. I remember a sermon that our pastor, Eugene, shared years ago. He described our journey of sanctification as a spiral that passes by the same lessons again and again but each time going deeper as God works on pulling the weeds that affect our faith.
I didn’t understand what sanctification was until someone explained it as how God transforms us through our circumstances to make us more holy. I have learned this is often a painful process.
Over the past few weeks, I have encountered the theme of hope several times. Have you ever had that happen? You read something and it resonates and then you hear a song and it’s the same idea and then someone says something and you’re like, ok, I’m listening, God! One article I read said, “Christian hope is a confidence that something will come to pass because God has promised it will come to pass.” This hope theme had my thoughts often.
We hope things will happen the way we want or expect. We hope we get the job, we hope we get to go on a dream vacation, and we hope to have a good day. But, this isn’t the kind of hope that we learn from our faith. If Christian hope is based on God’s promises then is this tied to prayer and our faith of trusting God?
Stick with me I think it’s coming together. John Mark Comer taught on the Gethsemane prayer in a recent podcast. In Matthew 26:39 Jesus prays to God, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” Jesus was in distress about the path before him. The agony of the cross and the pain of his purpose lay before him, yet he trusted that God’s will be done. He trusted the promise that God loves His Son. Even though the suffering to come is great and heavy, God was creating good.
This prayer has been on my mind and as I process it I realize the way we have to let go. I have to let go and trust that God is doing something for my good and his glory. I have to be willing to let God take me deeper. As John Mark mentions in his sermon, “To grow and mature we have to journey down. We don’t want to ask how can I get out of this, but, what can I get out of this.”
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” As we pray and seek to know God we have to lean into trust, in the hope he has promised. We are secure in his arms. Nothing the world has will ever take away the security we have in our ultimate destination. We hope in things unseen (our faith).
Charles Spurgeon says, “God is too good to be unkind, and He is too wise to be mistaken. And when we cannot trace His hand, we must trust His heart.”
I was up in the middle of the night praying. It wasn’t eloquent or formal. It was more of a cry. God, this is all too much. It’s too much. It’s too much. I repeated this prayer over and over in the middle of the night. As I lay there repeating this over and over suddenly my words changed to thank you. I was like whoa, what? Thank you? Where did that come from? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. My heart swelled in worship as I lamented my pain. The holy spirit filled me with hope as he reminded my broken heart that God is at work in the pain. I don’t understand it all now, but I trust. Maybe that is the point? Hope=Trust.
Again His peace fills my heart and settles my soul. It doesn’t make sense but I am trying to remember that as the spiral brings me back around to these hurt places I am growing and maturing and deepening my faith. I am reminded to release control and let go as God works on my heart and tugs at the idols I hold onto.